Sunday, March 04, 2012

If you've been keeping up with the news, then you know about the Rush Limbaugh controversy. If you haven't, here it is in a nutshell.
This link has a good synopsis of what prompted Limbaugh to cover the issue in the first place. Let me quote from the article:
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), said she called the hearing of the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee because Sandra Fluke, a student at Georgetown University Law School, was not allowed to testify at the Feb. 16 hearing of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.
“Democrats are prepared to hear from a single witness today, a Georgetown Law student, Sandra Fluke, to testify before the committee,” Pelosi said in her opening remarks. “We are proud to bring Sandra before our Steering and Policy Committee to deliver the testimony she was denied last week, to stand firm in the cause of women’s health -- to no longer be held silent. Sandra is a bold and passionate leader for young women and all women, at Georgetown and across the country. She understands that this issue that we’re discussing is a matter of women’s health, plain and simple.”
Pelosi noted that Fluke has been active in the battle against human trafficking and domestic violence, and she also served as the president and secretary of a “reproductive justice” group at Georgetown Law School
Fluke said Georgetown, a Jesuit school, does not provide contraceptive coverage in its student health plan, a situation that places "financial, emotional and medical burdens" on students.
She expressed gratitude for the Obama administration's contraception mandate, which will force religiously affiliated schools and hospitals to provide services that some religions, including Catholicism, find morally wrong and impermissible.
Okay, I hear you ask, but how did Limbaugh come up with the conclusion that Sandra Fluke was a “prostitute” and a “slut”?

Well, for the answer to that, we'll have to read another article. This article is one with a little bit more detail. Again, I'll quote from the article:

"Forty percent of the female students at Georgetown Law reported to us that they struggled financially as a result of this policy (Georgetown student insurance not covering contraception), Fluke reported.
It costs a female student $3,000 to have protected sex over the course of her three-year stint in law school, according to her calculations.
"Without insurance coverage, contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school," Fluke told the hearing. (my emphasis)

So, according to Fluke's calculations, 40% of Georgetown Law's female students are having three thousand dollars worth of sex over a three year period (no pun intended). Which works out to an average of one thousand dollars every year.
Rethink those numbers for a second: Forty percent of Georgetown Law's female students are spending one thousand dollars per year in order to have protected sex.
Let that sink in for a few seconds. One thousand dollars per year to have protected sex.
And, because Fluke wants that to be covered by insurance, you and I will be paying for it. Unless you know of some other way for something to be covered by insurance? No? Me neither.
Now, there are a myriad number of ways to have protected sex nowadays. The cheapest (and according to the contraception experts, most effective) ways to do so is by using a condom. Now, I admit, it's been a couple of years since I've had to buy a condom, so they may have sky-rocketed (no pun intended) in price lately. But I don't think that they've gone so far up that they are a $1,000 a pop (again, no pun intended).
As a matter of fact, let's find out, shall we? After 30 seconds (because I've got a slow connection, that's why) of googling the subject “condom prices”, one of the first links is . Perusing the selection, we find that the most expensive condom is $1.25, and is known as The Strapped XL condom. Since the Georgetown Law female student is so strapped for cash, this is obviously not the first choice. That would probably be the Crown Condom by Okamoto, retailing for the spine-tingling price of $.45, or 100 for $19.95.
Well, let's suppose that the Georgetown Law female student decides to get $1,000 worth of the most expensive condoms. How many would that be? Some quick math tells us that $1,000 divided by $1.25 equals 800 condoms. Divide 800 condoms by 365 days and you get 2.19 times. That's at least 2 times a day and three times every 5 days every day for an entire year.
Wait, there's a Kennedy Party Pack! $30.95 for 100 condoms! How many would that be? Some quick math tells us that $1,000 divided by $30.95 equals about 32 1/3 packs of 100 condoms. Divide that by 365 days in the year, and we've got 8.85 instances of protected sex every day for the entire year.
Nah, who wants the most expensive condom? Let's suppose instead that the Georgetown Law female student decides to get $1,000 worth of the least expensive condoms. How many would that be? Some quick math tells us that $1,000 divided by $.45 equals 2222.22 condoms. Divide 2,222.22 by 365 days, and you get a smidgen over 6 times. That Georgetown Law female student would be having protected sex 6 times a day, every day for the entire year.
Nah, we're going for quantity here, not quality. Let's suppose instead that the Georgetown Law female student decides to get $1,000 worth of the least expensive condoms, but in the $19.95 100 pack set. How many would that be? Some quick math tells us that $1,000 divided by $19.95 equals 50 1/8 sets of 100 condoms. That's a little over 5,000 condoms to be used over the next year. That's, um, not quite 14 times a day every day for the entire year.
Now, as you can see, the range for the daily ration of protected sex is anywhere from a little over 2 times to a little under 14 times, depending on your wants and needs. That's every day for an entire year, with no days off.
Now, there are other options, but I think I've made my point clear. The only way that you could spend $1,000 to have protected sex is to be using that protection at the very least two times a day everyday for the entire year. Perhaps 40% of the females at Georgetown Law are doing that, but I'm thinking not. For one thing, nobody would be getting any studying done!
Guys at Georgetown Law are really liking their odds nowadays, though.
Now comes the news that Ms. Sandra Fluke is contemplating suing Rush, apparently for slander. I don't think Fluke is getting the best legal advice available to her if this story is true.
I want to see this happen. The prosecution, according to established law, would have to prove that Ms. Fluke is not “a prostitute” or “a slut” in order to win. The defense would have a heyday, and I guarantee you that once Mr. Limbaugh is up there on the stand, things would get very interesting. I can just imagine him running through all of these numbers that I've just run through.
And the calling up of old boyfriends would make for fascinating TV, to say the least. What would they have to say, I wonder? The testimony of how many times they had protected sex would run on every nightly newscast. The laughter and jokes would carry us through the long hot summer that is coming up.
Please, please, please, Ms. Fluke, don't throw Br'er Limbaugh into that thorn bush!

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