WARNING: If you are from South Carolina, currently reside there, or have sympathy for the fine folks who reside there, please do not read past this point.
Oh, South Carolina: the political home of stupidity in America.
The people who brought us this week's showdown between an Appalachian trail hiker who fancies himself with Argentinian women, and the dye-in-the-wool liberal who is related to a brain dead comedian on cable as the first congressional district's options for representation in the House of Representatives.
I hate all of you. Sincerely.
Because this is not the first time you have screwed up majorly. May I remind you of supporting Gingrich last year, actually giving Alvin Greene any political party's nomination, supporting Strom Thurmond's segregation based platform for the presidency in 1948, causing the Civil War when you idiots seceded just because Abe was elected, starting the nullification crisis during Jackson's administration and for guaranteeing slavery in this nation by so obstinately standing for your peculiar institution when our country was crafted.
My conscience used to be conflicted as to whether General Sherman should have traveled through time to partake in the Manhattan Project and steal the atomic device to punish South Carolina for their misdeeds, but I am no longer conflicted: he should have detonated those seceding sons of a bitches to the furnaces of hell.
The only good things to come out of South Carolina since the early eighteenth century is sweet, pure all-American grown tobacco and 2007 Miss Teen South Carolina, who famously rambled about roads and Africa and cultural understand and some form of gibberish that only makes sense to her people. And her people... Fellow South Carolinian's.
What say you?