Thursday, April 12, 2012

Guest Article: "What Guvment Don't Know is a Lot"

Pundit Press is pleased to bring you another article from guest writer John Brentlinger:

There is a good King James word for politicians and government employees. The Democrats have historically applied it to themselves, and we would be remiss not to apply it to Republicans also. It is the great English word, ASS, and since it appears 154 times in the King James Bible, it seems most appropriate to use it here. A good unabridged copy of Aesop's Fables uses the word 55 times. Aesop actually uses the construction "poor ass" and "dead ass" but the signatory description goes the to KJV, with the phrase: "dumb ass." Most descriptive and most instructive, when we are referring, as we are now, to our government.

Noah Webster, in his 1828 edition dictionary, (Oh, I'm sorry kids, a dictionary is a book with paper pages made from wood and defines words, and 1828 was a year.) defines "ass" as a quadruped of the equine genus; implying positive attributes, definitely then not applied to modern government. The secondary definition says, "a dull, heavy, stupid fellow." And that would certainly apply. Noah's updated version says an ass is "a stupid or silly person," and that too will fit nicely into our parable here.

This is not to imply that there are not good people in government. There are, they are just few and far between, and they are usually villified, lied about, mocked and usually run out by the dolts waiting for their bi-weekly checks and guvment cheese. But I digress.

We are considering today the Department of Labor, DOL, if you will, or DOLTs, if you won't. These idiots, or asses, if you please have finally reached a tipping point, that is, in KJV speak, they are ready for the dung hill. Their latest asinine plot is now to prevent children from working on the family farm, and the manure stench from their stupidity reeks to heaven high.

It would be best to approach this subject in a peripatetically dilatory manner, since the dolts at the DOL won't be able to decipher the big words, like work, ethics, family, and that old standby, responsibility. These are things children learn from working, things they learn from their parents, things they glean from the family experience, things of course foreign to the dolts at the DOL, and to the foreigner in the big White House, which I think has a working garden, worked by someone other than his girls.

Some of the most idiotic rules for new kids down on the farm are as follows:

1. Can't work on anything over a six foot height. If we expand that to high school, they can't play basketball: the rim is too high; can't kick a football: the goal post is too high; can't play soccer: goal again is too high; can't play volleyball: net is too high; can't play baseball: line drives are over six feet high; no more high jump or pole vaulting-- it's just too high kids, you might get hurt. And forget all about the trampoline and gymnastics.

2. Can't work with any animal over 6 months old. Well, no more family pets. No riding or working with horses, cows, and llamas. Can't work with giraffes, but I guess that goes back to rule number one.

3. Can't use a pressurized garden hose. Great, can't even wash the family car or water the lawn or the garden.

4. Can't drive a tractor. Guess they'll have to pull a plow by themselves. Maybe they could get a team of kids together. Planting will be by hand. Can't drive a combine, so harvest will be somewhat difficult and take longer than the Amish. (see, they can't use or be on or around horses)

5. Can't work around manure pits. Guess the guvment needs a monoply on bull sh... I mean bull manure. They pass it around daily at the White House, Congress and Senate. Obama has the world record so far, with Biden not far behind.

All sardonic wit aside, what are these dumb asses at the DOL thinking with? Is this just another ploy to destroy the family, to get rid of family farms, to make sure we flood the no ID/Voting booths with enough migrant workers to make obama king for life? No, wait, it goes deeper than that. The bull-manure-passer-outer-in-chief is being very generous here. He is simply using the DOL to insure that modern country farm kids get a chance to have a childhood like he did. No work, no responsibility, no ethics, just smoke gonja, rabble-rouse, watch ESPN, shoot hoops, know-nothing, do nothing, then become a community organizer; and once again, rabble-rouse, smoke Mary Jane, do nothing, just organize other rabble rousers, but I repeat myself, then become president for life from a foreign country, you know, like Baby Doc.

Too bad Barry never worked on a farm. Baling hay, stacking it in a haymow, shoveling manure with a bent pitchfork, cleaning stables, plowing and harvesting might have taught him something besides lying, exaggerating, golfing and watching ESPN and gallavanting around the globe with our money.

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