Your MO Atty, perhaps himself not yet realizing what Life in the Asylum really means, has decided to go out on a limb and make some Election Day predictions. Wherever you see an asterisk [*] it will indicate a caveat. * [First caveat: The following presupposes that the other party (once known, believe it or not, as the party of JFK) will content themselves with shuttling around a few hundred busloads of illegal aliens to vote in selected key precincts, and forego their new GOTV technique that would allow thousands of the ever reliable dead people to vote not just once, but multiple times each.] Here goes:
OHIO: Romney carries Ohio. Analysis: Ohio, like seemingly every other state, has more than its share of screamingly left wing lawyers, media people, and university professors. But lawyers, media people, and university professors are not known for the large quantities of useful goods and services they produce to meet the everyday needs of the rest of the people in their state. In Ohio, as in most other states, this requires much larger quantities of basic, decent, blue-collar type people.
People like coal miners, who have awakened to the facts that BHO has been lying through his teeth to them, and that he is intent on destroying the entire coal industry. For the first time in forty (40) years, the United Mine Workers!!! has declined to endorse a presidential candidate. And masses of individual miners are openly calling BHO a liar.
And while BHO has the bosses of the UAW bought and paid for, the actual auto workers may be having a similar awakening. The UAW is now officially the “United Automobile, Aerospace and Agricultural Implement Workers of America”. Maybe the actual workers have noticed that since BHO, the once flourishing space program no longer exists. We hitch rides on Russian spacecraft, and NASA has been officially retasked to “Muslim outreach.” There are not a lot of manufacturing jobs available in a Muslim outreach program. Chrysler, like it or not, is now an Italian car company, and what Jeep manufacturing it does not send to Italy, it will send to China. GM has already morphed from “Government Motors” to “China Motors,” as recently attested to by its own CEO. We can reasonably expect that a lot of the current Toledo auto workers will not want to bet their futures on the truthfulness of BHO.
Combine that with the size and enthusiasm of the Romney crowds vs. the BHO/Biden/Clinton crowds, not only in Ohio but also in most other contested states, and pick Romney.
TODD AKIN/CLAIRE McCASKILL: Akin wins. Analysis: Todd Akin, a decorated military veteran, businessman, family man of strong faith, reliably conservative and pro-life, uttered a single ill-thought-out phrase in answering a question about abortion. The media and the other party (in reality a single entity) pounced. Unfortunately, so did the Republicans, including Romney, Ryan, and the Chairman of the RNC, thus keeping faith with the time-honored statement that “they don’t call Republicans the stupid party for nothing.” Missouri is moderately conservative and strongly pro-life. Claire McCaskill, shall we say, is not. Akin was well ahead in the polls at the time.
In addition to McCaskill’s sycophantic relationship with BHO, she has other serious problems. For instance, she touted her previous experience as State Auditor, but “forgot” that she owned a twin-engine airplane on which she “forgot” for three years to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in personal property taxes. It was not helpful that Romney, Ryan, and RNC Chair Reince Priebus “ordered” that Akin withdraw his candidacy, then withdrew all party financial support when he refused. Aiken, unlike most Senators, is not a wealthy man. [Full disclosure: MO Atty donated to Aiken’s campaign].
Bottom line: Missouri is still Missouri, Claire McCaskill is still Claire McCaskill, and Aiken has caught back up to her. Aiken wins, unless [*Second Caviat: Romney/Ryan/Priebus decide that Aiken should be denied his seat in the new Republican Senate for disobeying their “order” even though it might leave them one seat short.]
SCOTT BROWN/ELIZABETH WARREN: Brown wins. Analysis: Almost three years ago, Scott Brown won the actual, still warm, Kennedy seat in Massachussetts. He did so against an appropriately left wing woman of mediocre political gifts, and with a very left-wing friend-of-Barack Governor campaigning against him. BHO had not fallen anywhere near as far from grace as he has today.
Now Brown is not contending for the still-warm Kennedy seat, but for his own seat. He is again running against an appropriately left-wing woman of mediocre political gifts, with the same friend-of-Barack Governor campaigning against him, with the added cartoonish element that Elizabeth Warren brings: that she is actually 1/32d Cherokee, a “fact” she knows because her grandmother had high cheekbones. Pick Brown.
SENATE: Republicans retake the Senate. Analysis: See Akin, above, and Brown, above. Also recall that the Republicans only need to pick up three seats. They have only ten to defend vs. twenty-three for the other party.
PRESIDENCY: Romney wins. Analysis: See all of the above. In addition, the Earth has truly moved. Having had a front row seat for the photo-op leadership of BHO and the Swiss-watch precision and federal government competence of FEMA in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, Newsday (!!!), has endorsed Romney!! Newsday, a large and reliably left-wing publication serving Long Island and New York, was not subtle: “Elected with a significant mandate and his party briefly in control of both houses of the Congress, Obama squandered the support of the nation. Newsday endorses Romney.”
Thanks to the screamingly left wing lawyers mentioned above, we may have to temper our celebrations through several months of litigation, but Romney will be sworn in on January 20, 2013.
MO Atty does not ordinarily ask God’s help in writing columns, but in this case he makes an exception: May God bring these predictions to fruition, and may God indeed bless America.