October Surprise -- BOO!!!
W-e-l-l, as President Reagan used to say, w-e-l-l, the media,
and I use the term loosely, is hoping that Barry has what is now
called, "the October Surprise." And the the matchless, hapless
media is trying to figure out what that will be.
"October Surprise" is sort of a silly moniker for any campaign
which is supposedly saving some great piece of knowlege for
release just before the election, hoping to save the world for
It might go back as far as the Nixon campaign, which the
nitwits are still trying to dredge up for this election. Seems
they want to prove that President Nixon was really a bad
guy. Lemme tell ya, sure, he swore, but, that was 1972 and
compared to these Chicago misfits, that warn't nuthin' back
then. Third grade public school playgrounds now sound
At least President Nixon took a breath between swear
words, unlike these thugs. Barry, you're no President Nixon.
AND, so they had a little burglary. So what? Back then they
did not send guys like Rod Blagojevich to prison for knowing
too much; AND they did not kill people who got in the way,
and they did not hide their records, all their records, from
the public. (just the LP's)
And then October Surprise was used, they say, in the Carter
years, and by the way Barry, you're no Jimmy Carter. But
alas, I have digressed.
So as to keep the campaign money rolling into the media coffers,
for the entire campaign, the media is instructed to say, Barry is
ahead; wait, Mitt is ahead; oh wait, they're neck and neck; this
one is too close to call; and they will keep saying that up until
election day, simply because they need to make it look close so
both sides keep spending millions and millions and millions of
dollars to keep the idiotic networks afloat.
But since we don't know what the October surprise is yet, in
the public interest (barry's and michelle's interest in squatting
for four more years in the White House), I thought I would make
some suggestions, hoping to tap into some special interest groups
which Barry and Mimi have not thought of yet.
Pot smokers: how about a chicken in every pot, and pot in every
government paycheck. Since pot seems to be the drug of Barry's
enthusiastic-ness, lets invite the choom gang to the roof of the
White House, and surprise all like minded voters. W-a-i-t a
s-e-c-o-n-d d-u-d-e --- do we like have to v-o-t-e?
Conservative bloggers: here's a group Barry needs some votes
from. Lets make it legal to use Bluff-my-Call, and get some
swat teams to wakes these poor bloggers up in the middle of
the night, and have them arrested, or shot, then call it off the
Barney Frank's husband: how about Barry and Mimi crash
Barney's "wedding?" Barry and Mimi could do a duet, "Stand
by your man." That would possibly get some more of the "gay"
vote. Barry, call Barney Maybe.
How about a reality show called "Make My Day" where Barry
could publicly go over his kill list, and have listeners text
in their least favorite, thus making Barry's tough guy image
look, you know, like Dirty Barry.
How about no more speeding tickets for Barry voters?
No seat belts necessary for Barry voters?
Legalize drinking and driving, for Barry voters?
Three day work week for Barry voters?
Barry care expanded to surgery and weight loss programs for
cat owners, if they have no ID and vote for Barry.
A huge vote getter would be if Mimi was to shut up for the
rest of the campaign.
I know, I know, this is stupid. BUT -- wait till you see what
Barry will bring up in October, then ax me if these are stupid.
Hope I didn't ruin Barry's surprise, he is so-o-o-o likeable.