Monday, May 07, 2012

Monday Morning Warning: The Composite in Chief

By John Brentlinger

Fasten your seatbelts kids, the 2012 campaign is about to get fairy-tale-interesting, no pun
intended. Bill Ayers and Barry's speechwriters are about to create, ex nihilo, out of nothing,
some great re-election propaganda. Let the composite compositions begin.

We are about to learn so many great things about Barry that by the time November rolls
around, we'll all want to give him another Nobel Peace Prize, let alone re-elect him for
four more of the most miserable years this country has never seen, culminating in another
war between the states, say, about 2015.

First, we're about to find out that he had girlfriends, not just one, but a multitude of real,
red blooded American, well, some of them, girls. Today, they're referred to by the hoi
polloi as blow up dolls, but to Barry, they were "composites."

Next, we'll learn that he has been a conservative all his honorable life, slightly to the right of Atilla the Hunster. Seriously, he would have voted for Goldwater, his namesake (Barry) given the time frame and the chance. And George Wallace; Barry would have been right there with him. And he actually was a fiscal conservative, there will be proof on the internet.

And, then they'll tell us that he wanted to join the United States Marines, but had a fallen arch, or tinnitus, or Rin Tin Tin syndrome. In the alternative, he wanted to be a fighter pilot, or perhaps he wanted to be all he could be in the U.S. Army. Absent any public acceptance of those theories, he will come out in October and admit that he really was a member of the Special Forces, just under a different name, something like, John Rambo.

We're about to find out that he did hold real jobs. No, really, real "man jobs." He once worked as a longshoreman, he was a logger in Oregon, worked in Texas as a wildcatter on a huge oil rig, sailed for years in the Merchant Marine, and was a welder topping out the beams in the tallest buildings in the world. Really wanted to be an astronaut, but there was that Rin Tin Tin thing.

And, as the curtain rolls back on Barry Soetoro Davis, our composite-in-chief, we're going to find out that he was truly a great student. Proof of great term papers will be presented, grand lectures about our great capitalistic society; and if technology allows it, we will be treated in late October to a great video of his Valedictorian speech at Ohio State, err...Notre Dame,
err, uhh Stanford, or Harvard, Yale, or where-ever.

For the composite cherry on the composite sundae, featuring our composite-in-chief, we will be treated to old home videos with little Barry on the front porch swing, playing with his pet Miniature Schnauzer, sitting with Mommie and Daddie. The idylic, all American family scene will be cut short though, they'll have to leave out the scene where his Daddie barbecues the family pet and serves it up with ugali and fish.

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