How Barry Can Win in November
I probably should not offer this advice, except for something
Bill Shakespeare said the other day at the mall. He was in
town shopping for a new silk shirt when he just blurted out:
"Many a truth is spoken in jest." I think he stole that line
from Chris Marlowe's girlfriend, but there you have it.
What is not in jest is this preface. If this advice is followed
by that smarmy group of swarthy infidels in Chicago, the
stock to buy before Barry destroys free enterprise in America
is -- Cardboard. If Barry wins, thats what we'll all be living
in, that is, until we run out of clean drinking water, cat food
and ammunition. But, I digress.
What follows is a list for the Composite-in-Chiefs main dealer
in lies, Axelrod. He can run this by Barry after the next golf
date, hoops pick-up exercise, or on the upcoming vacation.
They haven't had one now for what, three weeks?
1. Stop lying. This one does not need much explaining.
Barry, everytime you open your mouth, you lie. Even the
Democrats know it. Especially the gun and religion clingers
know it. Stop the pathological lying, if you can.
2. Stop campaigning. All you have done your entire
miserable political life is campaign. Stop it. Your numbers
were better before you started this campaign disaster. But
then if you follow rule number one, you would have no
campaign. Stop the stupid campaign, it is not working.
3. Stop fighting the Constitution. Barry, the United
States Constitution was written while your Indonesian/
Kenyan ancestors were still running from dragons. What -
you think with your so-called gonja permeated education
you have the intellectual weight to ignore the Constitution?
What is wrong with you? What have you been smoking?
Hey, I know someone about your age who smoked weed
all his life too. Know what du-u-ude, it catches up with you
in your fifties. Yeah m-a-a-a-n, you might want to stop
4. Stop the baby killing. We all know what the first
bill you signed was for more abortions around the world.
You think the Creator of Life is going to let that one
go? Do something about it now, while you still can
work a Mont Blanc Pen.
5. Stop Mis-Quoting the Bible. You think because you
claim to be president of this little speck of earth, you can
make the Bible read that God is really for homosexual
marriage? Barry, Sodom and Gomorrah called, they
want you to run for mayor.
6. Stop with the vacations. Barry, you haven't done
one constructive thing since you've been squatting in
the Casa Blanca. Que Pasa? The American people
are doing the Connie Francis thing at home this year.
Who do you think you are?
7. Stop the incessant grinning. You look like the
village idiot. The rest of the leaders in the world,
weighted down with a more than somber responsibility
actually look serious. But then I guess too much weed
will do that to one.
8. Stop the insane publicity. Oprah is right, Michelle
is wrong. You are over-exposed. A person in your
position who keeps his face plastered everywhere only
has one direction, remember: pride goeth before a fall.
Summarizing: just stop doing everything, it will make
the next few months easier on all of us.
Please pass along to the nitwits in Chicago...